


Claustrophobia

by Teddybear8



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Complete, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:54:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25773937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teddybear8/pseuds/Teddybear8
Summary: Harry and Draco get locked in a closet. Harry doesn’t respond well and gets a panic attack. From there on things start to spiral.TW: includes, panic attacks, trauma and mentions of abuse.Russian version available here: https://ficbook.net/readfic/9754459Translated by hozmans
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 42
Kudos: 222





	1. What’s going on?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is inspired on a headcanon from potters-little-ferret on Tumblr so thanks for the idea ;) Also, this story takes place during HBP but does not completely follow the canon storyline.

After living in a closet for 10 years, Harry got claustrophobia. It was bad. Only Ron and Hermione knew. He was forced to tell them after he had a panic attack when he got stuck at the Burrow. 

Things went well as long as he made sure he didn't got himself stuck in small spaces. But it was in sixth year when he found himself trapped again, this time in a small cupboard.

He didn't know what was worse: being trapped alone, or with the guy he was with now. Draco bloody Malfoy. 

"Come on asshole! You're gonna regret it so bad when I find out who the fuck you are!" Draco yelled angry at the door and whoever was behind it who was so childish to lock him up with Harry. 

He clicked on a light and looked at him with disgust. 

"W-we need to get out..." Harry mumbled.

"Yeah I understand that much" Draco said annoyed. 

"N-no. You don't get it. W-we need to get out..." 

Draco rolled his eyes. "You think this is funny? Did you and your stupid friends plan this or something?" 

Harry couldn't answer however. His breathing went funny and his hands became sweaty. The closet was small, especially for two sixteen year old guys. He felt the wall in his back and Draco's chest on his. 

"What is it Potter? Didn't your parents taught you how to answer a question like a normal person?" Draco grumbled. 

Harry started breathing difficult and his hands were shaking. Draco raised an eyebrow and looked at him 

"Are you okay Potter?... What's going on?..." Harry's throat closed up and leaned against the wall with shaking legs. 

Draco got a little scared. He'd never seen Harry like this. He always was the brave and annoying Gryffindor. 

Well, annoying? If annoying means absolutely cute, hot and adorable, then yes. Draco has had a crush on him since their first meeting in Diagon Alley. 

Now he looked so vulnerable. He just didn't know what to do. He needed to calm him down before somehing bad happened. Draco's had dreams about being stuck in a cupboard with Harry, but in those dreams there always was a lot more making out and a lot less freaking out. 

Harry got worse and worse and he wouldn't stop shaking. He looked horrible. 

The blond looked at him having a panick attack, which it obviously was, he had experienced enough of them himself to recognise one. Usually Pansy holding him tightly would slowly make them stop. 

But he couldn't hug Harry Potter. Right? They're enemies. It's weird to hug him. Eventhough Draco wanted it more than anything. 

But Harry never had feelings like that, right? He hated Draco. And he was straight. But Draco had no time to think because Harry turned pale and started shaking. 

'Just fucking do it you coward...' Draco whispered to himself as he wrapped his arms around the trembling boy infront of him. 

Harry was in shock but was too panicked to stop him. They stood there for a while, Draco holding him tightly as he couldn't help but smile at the scent of Harry's neck. It reminded him of amortentia...

Harry stiffened up and his breathing was still difficult, but he couldn't lie, Draco's strong hands did calm him down a little. Somehow.

It felt good finally holding Harry. The heat of his skin, his breathing, his smell, all of it felt more like home than anything in his life. Fuck, why did they have to hate each other?

Draco pulled away slowly when he felt Harry's breathing slow down and his arms relax. Harry stared at him awkwardly 

"I-ehm..." 

"Don't make this more akward than it is." Draco snapped back. 

So what they hugged? They weren't friends. They didn't have to talk. They only hugged because he practically wasn't breathing. Nothing had changed for Harry. They were still enemies. 

"Harry? Draco?..." Hermione looked surprised when she opened the door "Why are you in here?..." 

Draco looked at her, then back at Harry and walked away quickly. 

'It's just Malfoy' Harry told himself 'It's still annoying Malfoy... Besides, he probably thought it was just funny to see me freak out like that... It's just Malfoy...' Though he couldn't ignore how good it felt when their chests were pressed up against eachother and the strong fingers pressed against his back. And he definitely couldn't ignore the way his pants tightened...

"Harry? Are you okay? What happened?" "N-nothing, 'mione... It's fine... Really." Harry answered, desperate to change the subject. 

"Oh... Okay..." Thank Merlin Hermione knew when to stop. 

Him and Ron were walking to the Great Hall when Harry saw that familliar blond hair again. It was almost a week after The Incident and Harry was surprised how few reactions he had gotten. He thought Draco would've told the entire Slytherin house about his panick attack. 

But then again, Draco was the one to hug him. Hug him, of all things. 

"I'll... I'll see you in the hall, okay? I need to do something." Harry told Ron. He nodded and walked away. 

Harry walked to Draco and tapped him on the shoulder. 

"Can we talk? In private?" The blond raised an eyebrow suspiciously then nodded and followes Harry to an abandoned corridor. 

"What is it Potter?" He snapped, though he was actually a little concerned. 

"I- eh... I don't know why I'm doing this... But... Thanks for not telling anyone about, you know..." 

"The panick attack?" 

"Yeah. That." Draco smiled softly but immediately looked fern again. 

"Why didn't you tell anyone?..." 

"Oh" he didn't expect this question. Was he supposed to open up? Harry had panick attacks, no need to be ashamed of his own. Right? 

"It's just... I know how you feel. I- I have them too..."

"Wait, really?" 

"Yup..." 

"Why? I-I'm sorry. Too personal. Especially for us." 

"What? No, don't worry." Taking this to a personal level? Exactly what Draco wanted. He wanted to know everything about Harry. 

Not just the stuff in the Daily Prophet, or even the Quibbler. The real stuff. Even if it's just because of Harry's dumb (cute, let's be honest) curiousity. 

"Things aren't always fun at home... Under a lot of pressure... Plus school, or more accurately students. It just sucks." 

"Students? What about them?..." 

"Oh sorry, famous Harry Potter doesn't understand people not liking you because he's the most populair person in the school." He should've never told him that. 

"What? No. Merlin, Draco can't you be serious for just a second? Never mind. I have to go anyway. I should've never talked to you in the first place." 

Oh no. No no no no no. He didn't want to stop talking to Harry. 

"Wait, Potter. Hold on." He grabbed Harry's wrist. He couldn't stop now. He was so close to an actual talk. Why did he ruin it. Harry even called him Dr- 

"Did you just call me Draco?" 'Oh fuck' Harry thought to himself. 'Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck.' Why did he have to say that? It's just Malfoy. He probably thinks he's being all soft and stupid right now. 

"I... I didn't."

"Yes you did. You called me Draco." The blond said with a small grin. "What happened to Malfoy?" 

"Fine. I called you Draco. I'm sorry." 

"Don't be. I-I like it... Can I... Can I call you Harry?..." Please say yes... Maybe there was actual hope of them becoming close. Please, please say yes. 

"Oh... Ehm, yeah? I guess." 

"O-okay. Cool." 

"I should go. Lunch." 

"Oh yeah. Me too." He smiled and quickly let go of Harry's wrist which he now realised he was still holding. 

"Draco?" 

He couldn't help bit smile when he said that and the blond himself got butterflies in his stomach when Harry said it. 

"Y-yeah?" 

"This doesn't mean anything, right? Us being on first-name-basis. It's just because the attacks. We're still... We're still not friends." 

"Oh, no. Of course not. Obviously." Draco said with a smile. Harry smiles back. 

Draco arrived at the Great Hall and sat down next to Pansy. 

"What's that big grin about, Dray?" 

"N-nothing." He said and looked at Harry from across the hall. He couldn't stop smiling. 

'Not friends' was better than 'enemies'. 

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Next chapter is already up!


	2. What do you want, Potter?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Draco have a talk.

'Not friends' was better than 'enemies'.

Right?

'”Right?”

“Pansy? Are you even listening to me?”

Pansy looked at him confused. 

“You... A-and Potter...”

“Yes. We're... Well, not friends. Apparently.”

Draco's been off lately, Pansy and Blaise had noticed it even before he did. So after lots of complaining and pushing, he told them everything about what happened a week ago. 

“Draco. You know I love you. But why in Merlin's name would you want to be anything more than enemies with Potter. I'm not saying kill him but at least hold up the Slytherin pride.”

This startled him a little. “Well, ehm...  
Because. You know-”

“Because you like him.”

Two heads turned towards Blaise. A tiny grin appeared on his face. 

“You haven't stopped talking about him for the last 6 years, then you hug him a-”

“I had to hug him. Panic attack, remember.”

“Yeah yeah. Tomato to-mah-to. Anyway, you hug him and all of the sudden you do everything you can to avoid him and you don't even tell us, your best friends, about it. If you really, truly hated him, you would've used all this shit against him.”

“Dray... Is that true?” Pansy looked back at Draco. He stared at her and looked down. 

“Yes. I-I think I like him.”

Then it was quiet. 

Draco stared down at his bed, on which they were all sitting. He hated this. Bloody feelings. He should've just ignored all of it. Pushed it away. 

Then the silence was broken by Blaise. 

“Do you want to be with him. I mean, do you really think all the hassle will be worth it?

“...I don't know” he answered.  
And then, little more annoyed: “What a stupid question is that. It's not like it's even possible. He doesn't like me. And even if, in some crazy world, he does, we would never be able to have an actual relationship. He's the fucking Chosen One and I'm... me. It just can't.”

“Yeah, no, that's total bullshit” Pansy said while rolling her eyes, “He totally likes you back.”

“How would you know.”

“Because he's always obsessing over you, he's always staring at you during dinner and let's not forget the fact that your hug calmed him down in that, ironically enough, closet. Do you really think, I don't know, Grabbe's hug would've helped? No. It wouldn't have. Because he thinks he's annoying, which, let's be honest, he kind of is.

Your hug, your presence, helped him calm down. You can't ignore that Draco.”

It was quiet for a while. 

“You really think so? You really think that if I go up to him and say 'Hey Harry, I like you. Wanna be boyfriends and hold hands and pick flowers?' he'd say 'Yeah sure'”

“Well not if you say it like that.”

“Then how? Then what? What am I supposed to do!”

“Oh my gosh you bloody moron.” Blaise said. “Just become his friend, take him into some empty classroom and say 'Hi. I like you. Do you like me back?' It's that simple.”

“Worst case scenario you'll get a blow job out of it and never talk to each other again.”

“Pansy!”

“What? He'd be totally up for it. I can tell.”

Draco sighed “Fine. Fine! I'll just. Become his friend. Right?”

“Yes!” Blaise and Pansy said in unison. 

~  
It was three days later. 

Draco was standing over the sink. Crying. He couldn't do this. 

Why did he, of all people, have to do this. 

Katie Bell had gotten back from St Mungo's that morning and it had wrecked him. 

Everyone was shocked about it, even his friends. No one had any idea it was him who did this. He was scared of what might happen if someone found out. 

~

The footsteps on the map stood still in the boy's bathroom, not in one of the stalls, but at the sink. Harry watched them for a minute but they still hadn't moved. 

“Misschief managed” he whispered and walked, if not ran, towards the bathroom. 

He didn't want to confront Draco. Not after what had happened between them. 

But this was more important. They had found Katie just lying there. She looked so sad and scared. 

If Draco had done this Harry needed to know why. He had theories, of course, but he should ask him first. Face to face.

The door opened and Draco turned around to see who was there. Probably some first year who he could easily tell to bugger off. 

But it was someone taller with dark hair and glasses. 

“What do you want Potter?” he said while quickly wiping off the tears from his face. 

“I thought we were on a first name basis?”

“Fine. What do you want Harry?”

“It was you, right? Who did this to Katie...”

Harry slowly walked closer to him and could now see his red and puffy eyes in the mirror. 

“Draco?”

“N-no. It wasn't me. Why would I...

“Have you been crying?”

“No. Shut up. Just go away.”

He grinned “What? Afraid to be vulnerable around me?”

“I'm not vulnerable, I told you to go away!” He yelled and pointed his wand at Harry. 

“Merlin relax. If you didn't do it to Katie then why have you been crying?”

They stared at each other. 

“I can't tell you... I-I just... I-if he...”

His hand weakend and his wand fell on the ground. He sank down and leaned against the sinks.

Harry carefully sat down next to him, leaving some space between them. 

“I told you... T-to go... away...” Draco he sobbed quietly. 

“I'm not going away.”

Draco said nothing. 

Harry grabbed Draco's chin and made him look into his eyes. 

“Are you responsible for what happened to Katie?”

Silence. 

And then, very quietly:

“Yes...”

He pushed Draco's chin away with more force than necessary. 

“What in Merlin's name is wrong with you.”

“I can explain.”

“You better. Save it for Dumbledore.”

Harry stood up and was about to walk away when a hand on his shoulder spun him around. 

“What is it, Malfoy?”

Draco was hurt by that but swallowed the lump in his throat and spoke:

“I really, really want to explain... Please...”

~

“I'm not expecting anything from you.” Draco said after he told Harry all he was allowed to. About how You-Know-Who made him kill Dumbledore or else he’d kill Draco’s parents. About how he absolutely hated everything that had to do with the war. “But please, please. Don't. Tell. Anyone.'”

Harry stared at him with some disbelief in his eyes. 

“Fine.

“Fine?”

“Yeah. Fine. I won't tell anyone.”

“Promise me. Promise you won't tell anyone. Not even your friends.”

He nodded, “I promise. If you promise you won't... You know... Try to kill...”

“Harry, I told you I have to. I have t-”

“I know what you told me. But I'll help you find a way. I'll be here for you. To help you. I promise.”

A small smile appeared on Draco's face. 

“And in the meantime...” Harry continued “...do you wanna, maybe, if you want to... be friends?”

“Us? Friends? You and me?”

“Yeah. I figured after all this shit we've told each other, we're close enough to call us friends... But if you don't want to I unde-”

“I'd like that. A lot.”

“Okay. Great.”

Draco smiled and walked to the door. 

“And hey,” Harry said and Draco turned around. “You tell me if you're about to do something dumb again. Okay? We'll figure something out.”

“Okay.”

Draco walked out and went back to the Slytherin common room. 

~

What did you wanted to tell us?” Pansy asked when Draco called her and Blaise to sit down with him in his bed. 

“I did it.”

“Did what?” She asked. 

“I'm friends with Harry-freaking-Potter.”

“Holy shit.” Blaise said. 

“You know your dad is gonna kill you if he’d ever find out?” Pansy said. 

Draco smiled a little, but his father, for once, wasn’t the person he was worried about. He thought about the scary creature that had been hunting his dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Next chapter is already up! ;)


	3. Wanna talk about it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco and Harry become close and have a heart-to-heart conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty short chapter but next one will be goooodddd ;)

Harry never thought he'd be friends with Draco Malfoy, but to his surprise it felt very natural to be around him. 

Once they discovered their similar likes and dislikes and sense of humor, they were curious about what else they had in common. They started meeting each other in the kitchens late at night. Harry managed to convince the house elves they could stay in their beds. 

"We'll do things ourselves. You know, the muggle way" He had said. Draco had rolled his eyes but smiled. 

Harry had just shown Draco how to make a grilled cheese sandwich (he said it was his new favourite food) when Draco asked him about his claustrophobia. 

"Oh. Ehm. I've had it for as long as I can remember. I guess that's what happens when people force you to sleep in a cupboard for 10 years" Harry answered with a small grin, trying to laugh it off. 

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah, eh, my aunt and uncle didn't bother giving me an actual bedroom but instead made me sleep in a cupboard under the stairs..."

Draco stared at him in disbelieve.

"I- I'm so sorry that they did that to you."

"It's fine, really.. As long as I stay out of small spaces it's all good."

"I just... I can't really believe that the Harry Potter had a bad childhood. I assumed that whoever raised you would have adored you and treated you like a hero..."

"Well they didn't. " Harry said, "They hate me. They always treated me like... I don't know, like I wasn't their nephew but someone who worked for them. But instead of money I got payed in hits."

Draco stared at him quietly.

"Sorry for oversharing. Probably not what you expected." Harry apologized. 

"No, no. Don't be sorry. Please. I get that you want to share this. Do you... Do you talk to Granger and Weasley about this?"

"No. Not really. I mean, they know about it. I think. But I don't talk about it much. Not with them, not with anyone." Harry said as he leaned against the table, staring at the ground. 

'Except for me' Draco thought. It made him smile.

"You don't deserve that." Draco said after staring at him from a while. "What those people did to you. You don't deserve that."

Harry didn't speak. 

"I know they make you feel like you do..." Draco continued, "Like all of it is your fault. Like they wouldn't hurt you if you just listened to them. If you just did what they wanted you to do and be who they wanted you to be." 

He walked over closer to Harry who quickly wiped away the tears that had formed in his eyes. 

"But you need to know that's it not your fault, okay? They are awful people. What they did to you was because of them, not because of you."

Harry smiled and wipes away another tear. Merlin, he felt so awkward. He really didn't want to cry but what Draco said? They way he said it? It did something with him. He never had someone tell him that before. Sure, he knew what the Dursleys do wasn't his fault. Except, sometimes, he didn't. 

And then here was Draco, looking at him, comforting him. Telling him something he had never heard before. He never realised how much he needed to hear this. He just needed to-

Harry leaned forward an pressed his lips against Draco's. It was... weird. They were both surprised and half crying, not knowing what to do with their hands. 

But it was the best thing Harry ever did.

Eventually he pulled away, not sure of how Draco would react. 

They stared at each other for what felt like hours. 

Draco couldn't fully process what happened. How could he? And what was he supposed to do now? There were two options: pretend it didn't happen and never talk about it again, or do what he wanted to do for the past year and kiss the boy he liked. 

He chose the latter. 

Draco placed his hand on Harry's neck and kissed him. 

Harry leaned into the kiss. He had no more worries or doubts. All he could think about was Draco's lips on his.

Harry carefully wrapped his arms around Draco's waist. He felt the other boy smile in the kiss. 

Draco pulled away slowly and cleared his throat. 

"That was..."

"Something."

"Yeah."

Draco pulled away his hand and took a step backward. 'Shit,' he thought 'what have I done.'

This was what he wanted, right? They kissed. Harry liked him. Right? Or was this just because he was emotional? He never thought about the consequences. What were they going to do? They couldn't actually date? Right? They couldn't. What if his father found out? This all became so real so suddenly. 

"Ehm Draco? Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah. I'm okay. I just. I have to go."

Harry raised an eyebrow "Oh. Okay..."

"Just. Just don't tell anyone. Okay?"

"Yeah, no. Of course..."

They looked at each other. Then Draco turned around and walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Give kudos if you want or let me know what you think! Next chapter is already up! I upload every Friday!


	4. What’s next?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco and Harry talk about the future...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii! This chapter will have just a little bit of smut near the end. Enjoy:)

Draco stared at the schoolboard in front of him, barely taking in what Slughorn was telling the class. The past two weeks he hadn't thought about anything but that stupid kiss. That amazing kiss. Harry and him hadn't spoken since that night. 

Luckily no one else knew. He had been quiet when spending time with Pansy and Blaise and Harry hadn't told anyone either. He trusted him. 

When he carefully shot a look at him across the great hall each morning nothing seemed different. Weasley and Granger still looked as annoying as always and Harry still joined in with their conversations. 

There was just one moment where he and Harry made eye contact. It lasted just a few seconds but Draco could clearly see the hurt and confusion in his eyes before they quickly turned back to his plate. 

"Thorns", he heard someone someone mutter. 

"What?"

"Thorns" Pansy whispered again, this time elbowing him softly. 

"Mr. Malfoy, could you please answer my question?" Slughorn said. 

"Sorry sir, I didn't quite hear you."

"I asked, which part of a rose do we use when making Amortentia?"

"Thorns" Pansy whispered again. 

"Oh. We use the thorns." Draco said, finally answering Slughorn's question, "Although Zygmunt Budge suggested to use the petals since these will make the potion last longer."

"Haha! Someone has already done their reading! Very impressive, 15 points to Slytherin!"

Draco smiled kindly at the professor, but couldn't care less about the points. 

"Show off" Pansy smiled, "You could try it though."

"What?" Draco whispered. 

"Using Amortentia to get Potter."

"Shut up Pansy, Merlin." Draco hissed. 

"I can tell you keep thinking about him."

He kept quiet.

"Blaise too. Even Crabbe and Goyle notice something is different about you. It sucks that you're not telling us. At least tell me. I promise I wo-"

"Miss Parkinson, I would hate to take away the points I have just given Slytherin." Slughorn suddenly interrupted. "Please say silent."

"Sorry sir." Pansy said with a big smile but rolled her eyes at Draco when the professor turned away. 

Draco quickly grabbed some parchment and scribbled something on it. He decided he couldn't ignore his stupid feelings anymore. 

~

Harry exited the classroom as soon as McGonagall told her class they could leave. 

Ron and Hermione followed him and continued their conversation about the upcoming quidditch game. Harry was about to make some comments when he was distracted by blond hair. 

Draco was walking towards him making direct eye contact, ignoring Pansy's rambling. 

Harry's heart was beating like crazy and he couldn't stop staring at the grey eyes. 

As the they passed each other Harry felt Draco's hand on his. It lasted less that a second but he still managed to grab the parchment Draco handed him. 

Harry looked back and watched them go around the corner, probably heading towards their common room. 

"Just leave them, mate."

Harry turned towards his friends again while quickly putting the note in his pocket. 

"Really, Harry" Hermione said "stop stalking Malfoy. You've been acting so weird lately..."

"Ehm, yeah." Harry cleared his throat "Sorry."

Ron pulled him towards the Great Hall for lunch and continued talking. 

~

Harry hadn't gotten any time in which he could read the note in privacy. His curiosity got to him during Defence Against the Dark Arts during which he told Snap he simply had to go to the bathroom. 

After entering one of the stalls he leaned against the side and finally opened the note Draco gave him. 

Meet me at the astronomy tower at 9.  
Please, I have to talk to you.  
-D

"Ooooohhh" 

Harry was startled by the high voice that was coming from above. 

"Oh, hi Myrtle" he greeted her with a smile. 

"Hello Harry" she said with a wink. 

"You decided to go away from your usual bathroom I see."

"Oh, can't a girl float around the castle, looking at the students."

"Yeah, no, of course you can." Harry said, playing with the note. 

"Is that a love letter I see there?"

Harry grinned "A love letter? No. Definitely not."

"Then what is it, can I see?"

Harry quickly pulled the note flat to his chest but he was too late. 

"D? Who is D?"

"Ehm no one, Myrtle. Just leave it alone, okay? I have to go back to class anyway."

"Nooo! I wanna know! Please..." she cried. 

"Please, Myrtle I-"

"Fine. I'll guess!"

Harry sighed, rolled his eyes and opened the stall-door.

"Okay, you have 3 guesses."

"Ohw how exciting! Let me think, let me think... Is it Dddddddaphne Greengrass?"

"No" Harry was splashing some water in his face.

"Ahw... Is it... Davina Hughes?"

Harry laughed, "I don't even know her."

He took a sip of water, waiting for Myrtle to say just another random girl's name so that he'd finally be able to go back to Snape's class. Not that that would be much fun. 

"Oh I know!"

Harry opened the door while staring at Myrtle.

"Draco! Draco Malfoy!"

He quickly closes the door, "What?" 

"It's him, right? He told me he liked a boy but I would've never guessed it was you!"

"He told you?"

"Oh yes. He's a very sensitive boy, you know."

"Yeah... I know... Hey Myrtle."

"Yes Harry?"

"Could you please, just, not tell anyone, I mean. About-"

"About you and Draco being together?"

"We're not together. We only kissed once. That's it."

"Oh of course you did!" Myrtle cried out "I wish I had been kissed back when I was alive..."

"Yeah, ehm. That must be shitty, Myrtle."

"It is!" She had started crying again. 

"I really have to go back now, sorry."

"Oh of course! Leave me! Leave me like everyone does!"

Harry quickly closed the door behind him and made his way to the classroom again.

~

Draco was waiting at the Astronomy tower. It was 8:59 and his nerves had gotten worse the past few minutes he had been standing here. 

He was pacing through the tower, looking up at every little sound he heard, hoping it was Harry. 

What if he hadn't gotten the note? What if Draco accidentally dropped it on the floor instead of in Harry's hand? What if had been taken and thrown away by a teacher? Or worse, what if Harry had read it but decided to not show up? What if he had ruined it all by walking away that night?

"Draco?" He heard someone whisper. "Are you here?"

He turned towards the voice. "Yeah, I'm here."

Harry walked towards him but paused a few steps away from Draco. 

It was quiet. The only sound was that of the wind and some of the dangerous beasts hidden far away in the forest. 

"Well? You said you wanted to talk?"

"Oh, right."

They stared at each other. 

"I don't really know how to say this," Draco started, "but I can not stop thinking about you... and our kiss."

"Oh." Harry smiled. "To be honest, me neither."

Draco looked at the railing, trying to hide his flushed cheeks.

"I'm sorry I ran out on you... I really am."

"Yeah, that was really rude of you. You hurt me."

Draco swallowed. 

"I was scared. Because... It all became so real all of the sudden."

"What became real?" Harry asked, taking a step forward.

"You. This. Us. I mean kissing you was... amazing. But what's next? We can't really date like normal people."

Harry smiled sadly. Of course he realised their relationship couldn't really go anywhere. He could already imagine the headlines: "The Chosen One and the Death Eater" or "Harry Potter: quidditch and queers"

"I don't care." Harry said, taking Draco's hand in his. 

"We probably won't ever get to date in public but that doesn't mean this has to end."

"So you still wanna be friends?"

"Or, maybe a bit more than friends?"

Draco smiled widely "I would really, really like that. Are you sure you're okay with just... making out? Without anyone knowing?"

"I already do a lot of things in secret, why not add kissing a Slytherin?"

Draco smiled and pulled Harry closer, placing his hands on the other boy's neck.

Harry put wrapped his arms around Draco's waist and leaned forward, almost closing the distance between their faces."

"Just promise me one thing." Harry said. 

"Anything"

"Don't leave me like that ever again."

"Never" Draco said as he leaned in and kisses him. 

This was way better than before. There was no stress, no crying and no leaving. 

Draco brushed his tongue against Harry's lips and the boy opened his mouth, happily letting him in. 

Harry's hands roamed over Draco's back and slipped under his shirt. He let his fingers feel the back muscles, grinding his hips slowly. 

Draco pulled away, immediately wanting their lips touching again. He took a breath and placed his hands on Harry's chest. 

"Can I maybe, eh, take off your shirt? Only if you want to of course."

Harry nodded enthusiastically. "Can I take off yours?" 

Draco agreed and they quickly discarded their shirts. 

They discovered each other, hands caressing their bodies. 

Draco looked amazed at the boy in front of him, already determined to kiss every scar and every freckly. He started kissing Harry again and quickly lowered his attention to his neck - 'Merlin he smells amazing' - and then his chest. 

Harry felt himself getting hard and, by the looks of it, Draco was too. He moaned softly as Draco made his way down to his nipples, belly button and eventually ending on his knees. 

Draco stared at the bulge in front of him and then looked up, asking for permission. 

"W-wait" Harry said. He pulled Draco up and lead them to a wall not far away, kissing him on the way. 

"Do you want to?" Harry whispered.

Draco nodded and kissed him again, tasting him and wanting to remember this forever. 

Harry grinned. "Okay then" He said as Draco got on his knees again, resting his hands on Harry's hips before unzipping his pants and pulling them down. 

Harry moaned and put his hands in Draco's soft hair. He stared at the moon showing itself on the previously dark night and wondered how he could have gotten so lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave your thoughts in the comments and vote on this chapter if you like it! The next chapter is already up! I upload every Friday!


	5. Please?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco and Pansy talk and Harry plays quidditch

After their "adventure" in the Astronomy tower Harry and Draco sneaked back to their dorms. 

Harry lay down in his bed, cheeks flushing red.

He had no idea how much time they had spend together, but everyone was already fast asleep. 

He tried to fall asleep as well, but his mind kept wondering to those beautiful eyes staring at him. Slender finger straling down his chest. Lips touching his' and Draco's tongue doing all the right things...

~

Draco arrived at the dark dorm, quietly making his way to his bed when he heard a cough coming from a corner. 

Light switched on. Dark eyes with sharp eyebrows above them stared at him. 

"Where did you just come from?"

"Pansy, Merlin you scared me."

"I've been waiting for you for two hours."

"You shouldn't have. You're not my mom."

"But I am your friend" she snapped, "and I'm worried about you."

"You don't have to, okay? Really, everything is fine."

"Is it, though? Is it really?"

"Pansy why are you so paranoid!"

"Because Snape came up to me and said he needed to talk to you." She hissed, "And I know him, okay? I know that that wasn't about a grade or something. It was really serious. He was angry."

Draco started grinding his teeth as soon as Pansy mentioned Snape.

"What is going on between me and Snape is none of your business, Pansy."

"I knew it! You're hiding something from me!"

"Pansy can you just please shut up about it!" Draco pinched the bridge of his nose. "We'll talk tomorrow, okay? I'm really tired and you're waking everyone up."

She stared at him. 

"Fine."

He started walking to his dorm when she continued talking.

"You've changed, Draco. You used to tell me everything, about stupid Potter, about your parents. Everything. But this year you're different... I don't like it..."

Draco swallowed the lump his throat and continued walking. 

~

"Mr. Malfoy, could you stay for a moment. The rest of you can go." Snape cleaned his desk with a flick of his wand. Draco had been avoiding him, and Pansy for that matter, for two days, but after the Defence Against the Dark Arts class he could no longer ignore him. 

The students left quickly and Draco leaned against one of the tables, his nails carving in the old wood. 

"How is the assignment going?"

Draco didn't answer. 

"The Dark Lord is getting impatient, Draco."

"I know. I'm working on it."

"Then work harder. Your last attempt went horrible."

"Just leave me alone, okay. Focus on your bloody classes, would you?" His eyes still focused on the table.

"You need to act quickly, you hear me? Or there will be consequences."

Draco felt a shiver run down his spine. He knew the consequences. He was reminded of them every time he took off his shirt. 

He looked up to Snape. 

"Can I go now?"

"Yes, you may leave." He harshly slapped Draco's hand away from the table. "Don't ruin my tables."

"I didn't." He said and left the classroom.

Snape pointed his wand at the table and removed the word 'failure'.

~

Harry was sitting in the Gryffindor common room. Out of all places, this is where he felt most at home. The fire burning softly, the buzzing of his house mates, Ron and Seamus playing chess and Hermione laughing with Ginny as Luna, she'd often come visit, was braiding flowers into her hair. 

Almost everyone was talking about the upcoming quidditch match. Ravenclaw versus Gryffindor, it would determine whether they'd win the championship. 

They needed to win by a margin of three hundred points to be first, a tall order and yet Harry had never seen his team fly better. 

As the team captain he knew this match was all he was supposed to think about but his mind kept wondering off to Draco. 

"Don't worry, dingus. We're totally gonna kick ass tomorrow." Ginny said as she plopped down on the couch next to Harry. 

"Oh, yeah." He laughed, turning towards her. 

"Or wasn't that what you were day dreaming about?"

"Yeah, no, of course. Quidditch is all that's on my mind right now."

"Hmm... not sure if you're telling the truth, but you obviously don't want to talk about it, so I'll let it go."

Harry smiled. "Thanks, Gin."

"I'm heading back to Luna before she turns Hermione into a bouquet." 

Ginny climbed back over the backrest and whispered in his ear. "We wouldn't have such an amazing team if it wasn't for you." She kissed his temple and left. 

~

It was the morning of the final quidditch match and everyone was making their way to the stadium, including Draco.

He was walking down the corridor, surrounded by blue and red. He was excited to see Harry play, his hair all cute and sweaty.

He went around a corner, ending up in an empty corridor leading towards the exit. He could already see and hear the crowd. 

"Don't you dare take another step!"

He turned around and saw Pansy running towards him. 

"Draco-fucking-Malfoy! We need to talk, now."

Draco sighed. There was no place to hide, talking to her was inevitable now. 

"Hi, Pansy."

"Don't you 'Hi, Pansy' me? Who the hell do you think I am? Some stupid first year?"

He rolled his eyes and tried not to smile. He failed.

"Stop bloody grinning, I'm pissed at you!"

"Sorry Pans, it's just- Your face gets all red and cute when you're mad."

She stared and him and smiled. "Don't you ever ignore me again, you hear me? I missed you. Now let's go some place where we can talk."

"We're not going to the game?"

"Of course not, I don't give two craps about quidditch. I need to know what's going on between you and Potter."

Merlin, just his name made him blush. "Okay, fine."

She took his hand and led them to a bench near the lake, far away from the quidditch crowd. 

"The last thing I know of is you and him becoming friends? Sort of?"

"Well we still are. Except we're a little bit more than that now..."

Pansy gasped and looked at him with her eyes wide open. "You banged him!"

"What? No! Pansy, come on."

"Oh, that's a bummer. Then what did you do?"

"We just kissed. And then... a little bit more."

She smiled proudly "What's 'a little bit more'?"

Draco blushed and stared at his hands, folded in his lap. "I might've given him a blow job a few nights ago."

Pansy gawked at him and started laughing loudly. "You fucking didn't! That's amazing! Oh wait no, now I'm picturing it. Ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew!"

Draco laughed as Pansy made all kinds of disgusted faces. He missed her. 

He shared all of his stories and some more details ("Not too much, Dray. I don't want to be wanking and have Potter's weird body pop up in my mind!"). Then, however, Pansy mentioned something he wasn't prepared for. 

"So, Dray. What was the thing with Snape?"

He stared at the lake, not knowing what to say. Should he be honest? Should he just tell her? He told Harry, sure he could tell his best friend.

"Draco?" Pansy asked softly as she placed her hand on his arm. Her fingers resting on that horrible mark engraved in his skin forever, neatly covered with his long black sleeve. 

"Don't worry about it. I'm handling it."

"Please don't cut me out. Just tell me."

"I can't," Draco said as he stood up, Pansy's hand falling on her lap, "I wish I could, but I just can't."

It hurt so bad, but he didn't want to include her in this. He wanted to keep her safe. He had to keep her safe. 

He turned around and grabbed her hands. Pansy stood up, raising an eyebrow. 

"I promise you don't have to worry about it. I'll deal with it. Can you trust me? Please?"

She placed her hands on his cheeks, her eyes red. 

"It's about him, isn't it?" She asked softly. 

Draco was holding back tears as he looked at her. He nodded slowly.

"...okay. I trust you." She said, tears in her eyes. She hugged him tightly and whispered. "You're not a bad person."

Draco closed his eyes and hugged her back. 

He wiped away his tears as he heard the crowd cheer loudly. Pansy pulled away and sniffed. 

"We've been here so long already?"

"Yeah I guess." He said.

"Who do you think won?"

They turned to the stadium as they saw a red and yellow dot making it's way back to the castle, accompanied my music and cheering.

Pansy grinned, "You should go and congratulate your boyfriend."

"He's not my b-"

"Whatever, weirdo." She smiled and hooked her arm in Draco's. "Let's go."

They entered the castle through a side entrance. 

"I'm heading towards the common room. You have fun with Potter, okay?" Pansy said with a wink.

Draco grinned and quickly walked to the Gryffindor tower. He could hear the loud music all the way up the stairs. 

"-we all sing: Weasley is our king!"

He smiled when he heard the silly song. He was now standing a few steps away from the portret, hidden from the people coming in and out. He hadn't particularly thought this part through. 

He wished he could just enter, mingle in with the partying crowd and kiss Harry. 

But he couldn't. 

He sank to the ground and leaned his head against the wall.

He could hear the celebration going on behind it and wondered if one day he could be part of something like that. 

He was separated from the noisy crowd by a cold, thick wall. He felt so alone. 

~

Harry was high on endorphins. Music around him, everyone happy and drinking butter beer. People kept congratulating him. He and the team were being treated like gods.

He heard the door open and saw Luna wondering in. The crowd parted as Ginny made her way to her, placed her hands on the blonde's head and kissed her hard. 

The crowd gasped but continued celebrating the victory as the two girls smiled at each other. 

Harry was happy for them. Really. 

He just wished it could be so easy for him and Draco. 

Harry wanted to see him so badly. 

He made his way to the door, getting some pats on his back and high fives as he walked through the crowd. 

He was about to go down the stairs and look for Draco as he heard a soft sobbing. He turned around to see where it was coming from and went around a corner. 

There he found him on the floor, hugging his knees, crying softly.

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter than usual, I hope you liked it because I worked pretty hard on this one! Leave kudos or comments if you want. I upload every Friday!


	6. Do you wanna?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco and Harry comfort each other :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More smut coming :) Won't be very explicit because I cannot write that lmao. Enjoy!

"Draco?" Harry said as he walked towards him. 

He looked up at the sound of his name and quickly wiped away his tears. "I-I'm sorry. Fuck, I'm a mess."

"No no, it's okay." Harry whispered as he sat down next to him and put his arm around his shoulder. Draco shivered. 

"C-congratulations on the game." He said, his voice still trembling.

"Screw quidditch. Why are you crying? Here of all places?"

Draco sniffed and placed his head on Harry's shoulder. 

"I'm just... going through something. I think."

Harry hated seeing Draco so sad, but he couldn't help the smile forming on his face as he smelled his hair. 

He kissed his head. "Do you wanna go somewhere? Somewhere a bit more... private?"

Draco smiled and nodded. "You think you can leave your celebration party?"

"Oh shut up." Harry laughed, "It's not my party."

Draco lifted his head at stared into green eyes. "It's not not your party." He said with a grin. "You deserve it though. You're the captain."

Harry blushed. Maybe his feelings for Draco were a little stronger than he had initially thought they were. Maybe he liked it. 

He placed a hand in Draco's neck and kissed him softly. The blond, though a little caught off guard, kissed back.

"Wanna go to the Room of Requirement?" Harry whispered against Draco lips. 

Instead of an answer he got another kiss. They smiled at each other. 

They stood up and Harry was about to go around the corner, holding Draco's hand, when he was stopped. 

Draco let go of his hand and clenched his teeth. "We should probably go separately."

"Oh. Right." Harry answered, the words hurt him more than he'd expected. "See you in five?"

Draco nodded and waited for Harry to go. A minute later he left as well. 

~

Draco was staring at the wall as it slowly changed into a wooden door. He put his hand on the handle and pushed, part of him afraid he wouldn't find Harry but the room he's been visiting the whole year. 

He shook his head and entered. 

"Hi" Harry said as he looked at him with a big smile. 

"Hey" Draco looked around the room: there was a crackling fire to his right with a tapestry in front of it, the couch Harry was sitting on, and to his left a big bed with throw pillows.

"I didn't know what you wanted, really... I hope this is okay."

Draco nodded. Of course this was okay. He had Harry all to himself. 

He sat down next to him on the couch.

"So, ehm." Harry cleared his throat. "Are you okay now? I mean, do you want to talk about it?"

He shook his head. "I'm fine. I was just... sad. That I couldn't go in there and kiss you. Or even just go in."

Harry nodded. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

Harry took Draco's hand. "I'm glad I went looking for you."

"You went looking for me?"

"Yeah, of course. I wanted to see you." 

Draco blushed.

"Besides," Harry continued, "I wanted to rub in how much better my team is than Slytherin's."

"O shut your mouth, Potter."

Harry laughed, "Make me, Malfoy."

"Oh I'll make you." He smiled and leaned in closer

"Yeah, how?" 

Draco pressed his lips on Harry's, both boys smiling in the kiss.

Harry grabbed Draco's leg and placed it over his lap, still kissing him passionately.

Draco moaned softly as he slowly grind his hips forward, looking for any sort of friction.

He kissed the other boy hard, wanting more. He pulled away for air as he felt Harry's hands grab his arse. Fuck, he could do this forever. 

"Hey do you wanna, ehm... Go to the bed?" Harry asked with a shy smile. "I mean, shit, not in that way, just thought-"

Draco shut him up with a kiss and quickly got off of him and pulled him to the bed. He could feel the butterflies in his stomach and his dick getting harder. 

He was caught off guard when Harry pushed him on the bed, but smiled as he looked up at his messy hair and quidditch shirt with the word 'captain' written on the sleeve. 

"Take it off." Draco moaned. 

"Your shirt, I mean." He continued as Harry raised an eyebrow. 

Harry smiled and quickly took it off. 

Draco bit his bottom lip as he studied his view. Sure, he could see Harry had some muscle the night they spend in the Astronomy tower, but it had been dark that time. 

Now, lighted by the fire, he could see every indent, every muscle and every mark. 

He pushed himself up and allowed his fingers to run over Harry's torso. 

He moved back so that Harry could join hum on the bed, he, however, decided to sit on Draco's lap, their crotches dangerously close.

They kissed again, Harry's fingers taking the hem of Draco shirt and pulling it up. 

"Wait" he said as he grabbed one of Harry's wrists. 

"Oh, sorry, I thought you wanted to-"

"Yes, no. Of course I want to. That's not the problem. I-" Fuck, why was it so hard to just say it?

"Draco? Are you alright?"

He took a deep breath and whispered. "I have a dark mark."

Harry clenched his teeth and nodded. "Yeah, I mean. I sort of already figured that out..."

Draco started fidgeting with his fingers. 

"...and scars. On my back."

"From him?"

He nodded.

Harry placed his hands on Draco's lower back, his fingers touching the exposed skin as he kisses him softly. 

Draco leaned into it. He wanted to forget. Everything. 

He took off his shirt, Harry smiling softly 

He placed his hand on Draco's forearm, covering the mark.

He smiled shyly and then pushed Harry on the bed, grinding up against him.

"Do you wanna-"

"Yes, fuck, yes please." Harry said, immediately understanding. 

They took of their pants, then more. Until all that was left was Harry's lips on Draco's body, his strong fingers, then lots of lube and moans. 

He let all his thoughts and worries drift away, until there was only him and Harry.

~

Harry woke up. The first thing he saw was the back of Draco's head, his hair all messy. He looked at the scars below them, there weren't that many, Harry knew Voldemort preferred the cruciatus curse which didn't leave any marks. No physical marks anyway.

He slowly rolled over, looking for a clock of some sorts. The room quickly provided one. '8:47' Harry read, bringing the clock closer to his eyes. He didn't know where his glasses were nor did he care. 

He curled up beside Draco again and threw one arm over him. 

They still had about three quarters until anyone would notice they had gone missing. 

His nose was close enough to Draco's head for him to smell the product in it. He used to hate that smell back in his first and second year, but now he realised it was the same smell as the amortentia Slughorn had shown them in the beginning of this year.

Harry smiled, closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

He had just one thought crossing his mind over and over again. He knew he could never admit it, he could barely admit it to himself, but he couldn't say it out loud. That just wasn't how this relationship worked. 

All he could do was lie there, his body presses against Draco's, and hope that maybe one day he could say it out loud. Maybe. 

~

Draco woke up about half an hour later. He felt Harry's arm around him and smiled. He rolled around and saw Harry's cute face. He gave him a soft peck. 

Harry opened his eyes slowly and they smiled at each other. 

"Good morning." Draco smiled. It felt amazing, he wished he could say that every morning. 

"Mornin'" Harry groaned back. "We should probably get up."

"I really don't want to, though... What time is it?"

"You look, I don't have my glasses."

Draco leaned over and laid down on top of him. "9:20"

"Hmm... How about we lie here for another ten minutes, make out a little, and then get up."

Draco grinned and kissed him. "Sounds good."

~

Ten minutes turned into fifteen, then twenty, then more. Until Harry really had to go.

He quickly sneaked into the dorm, which was still covered in confetti, crisps and empty bottles. He even saw a quidditch shirt from Peakes, one of the beaters.

After he had a quick shower he made his way to the Great Hall, probably more likely to get lunch than breakfast, but he didn't mind. 

The portret opened and two girls stumbled in. 

"Oh shit, sorry Harry." Ginny said, her cheeks flushing red. "We were just-" She didn't finish her sentence.

Harry just laughed at them as Luna straightened out her dress and took Ginny's hand.

"So, you two are a thing now?" He asked.

Ginny blushed again, Luna just nodded happily.

"And you and that boy?" Luna asked in her usual dreamy voice.

Harry stared at her and blinked. 

Ginny raised an eyebrow "Luna, what boy are you talking about?" She turned to Harry "Was that what you were thinking about yesterday? When I asked you?" 

"There's, no, I mean-" Harry said shaking his head, his chest tightening.

"Of course there is," Luna continued "I've always known you like him. That's why I decided to lock you up together. That way you two had no choice but to confront your feelings."

"Wait you were the one that locked us up?"

She nodded.

"Fuck sakes, Luna. Why would you do that?"

"Like I said. You two had to confess your feeling to each other."

Harry was staring at her with eyes wide open.

"Can someone please tell me who we're talking about?" Ginny asked annoyed. 

Luna stared at Harry, smiling at him.

Harry looked around to make sure there was really no one else around, then whispered. "Draco."

"Malfoy!" Ginny yelled.

He shushed her quickly. "Please, please, please don't tell anyone."

"Why would you like him? He's a greasy little ferret! You hate him! His parents are followers of You-Know-Who..." She whispered the last part.

"I know, I know. Trust me, I'm as surprised as you are... But there's just something about him." Harry said.

"So what? He's your boyfriend now or something?"

He thought for a second. "No. He's not. I promise I- we have this figured out. We both know we don't really have a future. But as long as it will last we'll-"

Ginny stopped him. "I don't wanna know, please." She fake-gagged. "How do you think this is gonna work out for you? There's a war coming, Harry."

"I know, trust me, I know. It's all I can think about, it's all I allow myself to think about. Except when I'm with him. And I don't know what's going to happen but for once I'm actually okay with that. All I know is that these past few weeks have been the best weeks of my life. So can you just please let me have this?"

Luna stroked some hairs out of her girlfriend's face. "Just let them be happy, sweetheart..."

Ginny sighed. "Fine. Fine! If you really want to do this I promise I won't tell anyone."

"Thanks, Gin."

"Don't come crying to me when he breaks your heart. Which he will."

Harry smiled sadly, "He won't." 

Ginny scoffed. "Whatever." She laced her fingers together with Luna's. "Come, Luna, let's go to my room."

Luna smiled and let herself be pulled up the stairs by Ginny. "Bye Harry! Good luck!" She said as she waved at him.

Harry grinned and made his way to the Great Hall for lunch.

~

When Draco had exited the Room of Requirement that morning he felt a hand grabbing him harshly.

"I don't know what you think you're doing but you better stop it very, very quickly."

Draco quickly turned around, taking his wand from his pocket and pointing it and the person in his turn, ready to scold at whoever it was.

However, the only thing he could say when seeing the figure was "Fuck."

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos on this chapter if you liked it and follow me if you want to get a notification when I upload a new chapter. Next chapter is already up!


	7. Are you crazy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe it’s not all just fun and games.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy xxx

Snape was staring down at him, fire in his eyes, jaw clenched. His hand was still tightly wrapped around Draco's arm.

"Let go of me." 

Snape harshly did so. "Put your wand away."

He now realised he was still pointing it at him.

"What is wrong with you?"

"What are you talking about?" Draco said, trying to hide the fear in his voice. 

"You know exactly what I'm talking about."

He didn't say anything. 

"I get that you're a horny sixteen year old, but really? Potter?"

Draco swallowed the lump in his throat.

"You are bringing the entire operation in danger, Draco." 

He stared at Snape, his lip trembling softly. "A-are you gonna tell them?" He whispered.

"Tell whom?"

"Father? My mother? ...or him?" 

Snape squinted his eyes at him. "I am supposed to... But I pity you," he said with disgust in his voice, "end things before Wednesday or I will tell the Dark Lord and he won't be as nice as I am. Do you understand me?"

"Y-yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes. I understand."

"Good."

Draco knew he couldn't let Snape tell them. So what then? He had to break up with Harry? Was there anything to break up? He had three days to figure something out. Speaking of-

"Why Wednesday?"

"Because it's decided that's when it's happening."

Draco could almost feel his heart drop.

"What? When was that decided? Who decided that?" He could no longer hide the panic in his voice. 

"Unimportant. You are ready, right?" 

After Snape's lecture two days ago he spent his entire night fixing the Vanishing Cabinet. He didn't want to do this, he really didn't. But what choice did he have.

"Yes. I'm ready."

"I'll give you the details Wednesday."

Draco nodded.

"Do the smart thing and end things with Potter today. Obliviate him and be done with it."

He clenched his jaw. Fuck Snape.

Snape turned around and walked away quickly.

~

It was Tuesday. Fourty-eight hours since Harry had last seen Draco. He had been nowhere to be found during meals and Harry hadn't run into him in the hallways either. 

Fuck, he still couldn't believe what they'd done. 

It felt weird, though. He lost his virginity three nights ago and he couldn't tell his friends. Not even Ron.

He wanted to celebrate the end of the school year with them, but he couldn't. 

He wanted to tell them about everything Dumbledore showed him, but he couldn't.

He wanted to explain how amazing Draco was, how sweet and caring and funny and vulnerable and hot he was. But he couldn't.

When he sat down at the table for dinner - he looked for Draco but there was still no sign of him - and heard his friends talk about the Ravenclaw party, he felt so alone.

"Everyone's gonna be there, even the tiny first and second years can come. If they can keep up at least."

"Ron, don't be so rude. We were that young once too." Hermione said.

"Yeah, but never that tiny." He said

Hermione smiled and Ron continued.

"Anyway, as I was saying. Parvati heard from Padma that they have some really big things planned. They basically bought the entire Zonko's store and Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. And that's not even about the drinks."

"Okay, sounds... fun? What's your point." Hermione asked.

"Well, nothing, really. I'm just hyped."

She laughed at that. "What time does it start?"

"Nine. But everyone will be casually late so probably ten thirty."

Harry enjoyed hearing them talk, but he didn't feel as if he were part of the conversation. He played with his food once more. He hadn't been hungry the past few days. 

His eyes drifted away and he looked right into two, perfectly eye lined, eyes. Pansy Parkinson.

She was biting her lip and nudged her head towards the exit. Since it wasn't an important meal there were people going in and out every fe minutes or so.

Harry raised an eyebrow at her, at which she rolled her eyes.

She aggressively pointed at him and then herself and nudged her head again, her lips pouted and nostrils wide.

Harry finally got the message and stood up abruptly. "Sorry guys, gotta go."

"Oh okay, should we come with? I'm almost done e-"

"No thanks Hermione. I'll see you guys at the party." Harry left without waiting for any more commentary from them.

Pansy stood up a few seconds later and followed him into an almost abandoned hallway.

"What do you want Parkinson?"

"Yeah yeah, quit the act Potter. I know about you and Draco."

His heart dropped. He stared at her with his eyes wide open.

"Fuck. Ehm, I- I mean, we..."

"Whatever. That's not what I want to talk about. Not really."

"Okay..." He raised an eyebrow. 

"It's about Draco." Her face went serious. More so than usual. "He hasn't left his room in two days."

"Wait, like. Not at all? I haven't seen him but I figured he just tried to keep his distance from me or something..."

"Honestly your my last resort, Potter." She said while biting her thumb nail, panic rising in her voice. "I don't know what to do. I've tried everything. Talking to him, keeping my distance, letting Blaise talk to him. He won't talk. He barely eats."

"Shit... What can I do? Can I help or something?"

"...Did something happen between the two of you? Did you have a fight? I swear to Merlin if you hurt him I will fucking mu-"

"What, no no! I would never. I don't know what could be wrong either. I promise."

"You fucking better." She said, still staring at him judgmentally. "In that case, and I can't believe I'm saying this, you should come to the Slytherin dorm to see him."

"What? Parkinson, with all due respect but how could I go in there? I'm not particularly friends with them?"

"Yeah no shit Potter. Everyone hates you-"

"Thanks."

"-but there's that Ravenclaw party tonight. I'll make sure everyone is gone and then you can sneak in."

"Why can't he just come to me? We have some spots where we often meet."

"Yeah that's not gonna happen, Potter. If he won't leave his room to get food he won't leave his room for a bang."

"That's not what I- Nevermind." Harry rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'll come. What time?"

~

Ten fifteen. Harry knocked on the door. Parkinson had promised him that every Slytherin was out, but if she was wrong, well, he'd be fucked.

"Dray... Are you in here?"

Breathe in, breathe out. He opened the door.

The room was pretty similar to his own, a bit tidier and bigger. There were no windows and, obviously, everything was green and silver. 

The bed at the far back had it's curtains closed. 

"Draco," he asked again.

"I don't wanna talk, Blaise." Draco murmured.

"It's me. Harry." 

The curtains opened before he could finish his sentence.

"Harry, what the fuck?" Draco said as he quickly walked to him. He grabbed his arm and pulled him onto his bed.

"What the fuck are you doing here? What if someone saw you? Are you crazy?"

"Don't worry, don't worry. Everyone is to the Ravenclaw party. Parkinson said she'd take care of it."

"Yeah well, Pansy's full of shit most of the time."

Harry laughed. "We should probably still close this though." He said as he closed the curtain. Now it was just him and Draco in their little cocoon. 

Draco leaned forward and kissed him softly. "I missed you..."

"I missed you too." Harry smiled. "But you were the one who's been avoiding me."

Draco bit his lip anxiously. "Yeah... I know... Sorry."

Harry took his hands and moved closer to him, their knees touching. "Just tell me what is going on. I've been worried. Parkinson's been worried."

"So she sent you over? Figures. I've been a bitch to her."

"Then just tell her what's going on. Tell me."

~

He wanted to tell Harry what was going on... He really did. But how could he tell him that Snape threatened expose their relationship and that that was why he couldn't see him anymore.

These past days he had tried to come up with some sort of plan for not killing Dumbledore and running away with Harry. All of them ended with at least one of them or their loved ones getting killed.

Part of him had hoped that Harry would forget about him and move on. Part of him was so extremely happy he came to see him. 

"I don't really wanna talk about that shit right now... Okay?"

Harry stared at him for a bit longer than comfortable. "Okay. Fine."

Draco sighed relieved and hugged him, pushing his nose in his neck. Fuck he missed him. So much. He kissed him right where his curly hair met the top of his ear.

"Hey babe..."

Draco blushed. "Yeah?"

"When was the last time you took a shower?"

"Excuse me? Are you calling me-"

"Stinky," Harry grinned, "yeah. Sorry, Dray."

He had to admit that he hadn't thought much about showering the past few days. A thought came to mind and he smiled. 

"I'll take a shower if you come with me."

Harry's eyes widened and his cheeks flushed. "Assertive... I like it."

Draco winked and got up, quickly making his way to the adjacent bathroom.

Harry followed him and pushed him against the door as soon as it had closed behind them. His lips immediately went to Draco's neck, only leaving his skin when he took off his sweater. He was making his way down Draco's chest when he pulled him up and dragged him to the shower.

They quickly pulled off their sweaters and undid their pants while the water heated up.

The boys got in, softly grinding their hard dicks together. Draco moaned when Harry pushed his tongue down his throat and cupped his ass.

He placed his hands in the black hair and kissed back hard, his tongue exploring the mouth that had gotten so familiar to him these past week. He pulled back softly.

"What?" Harry asked softly with that dopey smile of him on his face.

Draco really shouldn't say. He really, really shouldn't.

Everything was so perfect now. His body pressed against the guy he had a crush on for six years, the hot water against his back, green eyes staring at him with so much compassion and kindness. It was something he never thought he'd deserve, something he'd still didn't quite think he deserved.

"I love you."

He bit his lip, waiting for Harry's response.

Did he fuck everything up?

Lips pressed against his again, then a soft voice mumbled. "I love you too."

At that moment he couldn't think about what Snape would do. Or his dad. Or You-Know-Who.

All he could do was fuck the boy he loved, and love him back, and hope that it wouldn't be the last time.

Dear Merlin, please don't let it be the last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think will happen next chapter? Let me know what you think of this one and leave kudos if you liked it :) Next chapter is already up! I upload every Friday!


	8. Will you come with me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All good things must come to an end... At least that’s what they say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will have parts of the book (Half Blood Prince) in it near the end but I won't write them all out because I assume you all know what happens. Enjoy!

After having kissed every part of Harry's body, Draco pulled him out of the shower. they quickly dried themselves and put on underwear and pants. Harry was about grab his sweater when Draco stopped him. 

"Leave it," he smiled, "I like looking at you."

Harry kissed him and let his fingers trace Draco's back. He moaned in their kiss and hopped onto the sink, hooking his legs around Draco.

"I will never-" Draco said, roaming his hands over Harry's body, "-get enough of this. Of you."

"I love you." Harry agreed, kissing him again, "I can't believe how easy it is to say that."

"I can't believe how easy it is to hear it." He grinned. "Wanna go to my bed and-"

"Yes. Definitely yes." Harry kissed him and moaned against his lips.

Draco picked him up and Harry laughed. Draco threw him on the bed and was pulled on top by Harry.

"I wish we could do this every day." Draco mumbled in Harry's neck, giving him soft kisses all over.

Harry traced his hand over Draco's back, "We could..."

Draco grinned. "Yeah, sure. I'll just ask the Ravenclaws to throw a party every night."

"No, I mean... Away from here."

Draco lifted his head. "What do you mean, love?"

Harry sat up, taking Draco's hands in his own. "I'm not going back to school next year."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm going away... There are some things that I need to do before I can defeat Voldemort."

Draco clenched his jaw.

"I want you to come with me... We can run away. That way we can just be together. And you don't have to hurt anyone... Will you come with me?"

Draco pulled his hands away from Harry's.

"Don't get me wrong, it's sounds amazing, but-"

"But what?"

"I can't. I have no choice, Harry."

"What? Of course you have. I just gave you one."

Draco shook his head. "You don't understand. He'll kill my parents if I don't do it."

"Well, can't they run away too? I'm sure the Order could find them a safe house or something."

"I... I don't know. My mom would probably go. But she won't go unless my father is going... Besides, we don't even have time for that."

"Of course we have time for that, it's an emergency. I'll talk to Dumbledore tonight and you and your family could go tomorrow."

Draco rubbed his temple, his shoulders tensed. Then he whispered. "It's happening tonight..."

Harry blinked and frowned at him.

"Snape will tell me more tomorrow afternoon. All I know is that some Death Eaters will come through the Vanishing Clo-"

"No no no," Harry interrupted him, "don't tell me. I mean, you're not going to go through with it, obviously."

"Of course I am."

"You're going to kill Dumbledore? Are you serious? What the fuck Draco. How are we even discussing this?" Harry stood up, his hand going through his hair.

"If I don't kill Dumbledore, he'll kill my parents. I told you." Draco said from his bed.

"So what, you can't do this!"

"Why are you getting mad at me? You don't know what I'm going through. You don't know what I've seen." He said, his voice breaking.

"Dumbledore is the only one Voldemort fears. How do you not understand that him being alive is more important than your parents?"

"What!" Draco stood up, facing Harry.

"Sorry Dray... Sorry I didn't mean that." He said, his voice soft.

"How dare you say that!" Draco was now yelling, "Do you really think my parents are less important than some old man? How fucking dare you, you don't even have parents!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Wow, that one was low, even for you."

"Even for me? What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that your acting like your old self! Like you're some stupid, annoying Slytherin bully."

That hurt. He hated the way he had acted when he was younger... Maybe he shouldn't have said that, but Harry had said something stupid as well. 

"Draco?"

"Leave."

"What?" Harry said confused.

"I want you to leave. Now."

"Can't we just talk about this?"

"No. I'm done with this." If Harry'd just leave they could talk tomorrow and fix everything. Merlin, if only they could fix everything.

"Done with this? Do you mean us?"

"What? No of course not. Why would you think that?" Shit shit shit. 

"Well you haven't been really invested in the future of our relationship!"

"Because I don't want to get my parents killed?"

"I get that, really. But how do you expect us to date when you've killed someone?" Harry yelled.

"...I don't know. There's no way for me to not do it."

"And there's no way for me to accept you doing it."

Draco had tears in his eyes by now. He had been fearing this moment ever since their first kiss.

"So?" He asked.

"So this is it..." Harry said and clenched his jaw. 

"So this is it."

Draco wanted to say something, anything. Beg him to stay and help him. Kiss him and tell him he loved him over and over again. But he just stood there, watching Harry grab his sweater and glasses from the bedroom and wand from the nightstand, and make his way to the door of the dorm room.

"Let me know if you change your mind." Harry said, staring at his hand on the doorknob. He turned it and left behind not just the room, but also Draco, staring at the ground, frozen.

He stood there for some time, he had no idea how long, but finally forced himself to go to move to the bathroom. He figured maybe some cold water in his face would wake him from this nightmare. 

It didn't.

He looked at himself in the mirror, his face dripping with water. He took the sweater that was laying to his right and used it to wipe his face dry. Except, that wasn't his sweater. 

It was a grey sweater with a small Hogwarts logo, yes. But the collar was not decorated with Slytherin's green and light grey stripes, but red and yellow.

Draco sat down against a wall, crying. He curled up and pressed his nose in the sweater, his tears soaking the fabric.

He had kept it together before, but now everything came out and he couldn't stop sobbing in Harry's sweater, which still had his scent.

~

Harry had felt numb ever since he left the Slytherin dorm last night. He hadn't spoken to anybody since and had barely slept. 

Every sound, every shadow, everything reminded him of Draco, Draco, Draco.

He had hoped he would have come to him by now, agreeing to go with him. To be together.

All he had now was his sweater. 

Had he grabbed it on purpose? Or was it jus due to his anger last night? 

He had put it in his suitcase, stuffed under his other clothes.

Right now he was making his way to Dumbledore's office. He had a quest for the two of them. Harry, however, was hoping to tell him about Draco's plan.

"Harry, I'm glad you're here." Dumbledore said when Harry entered the office.

"Sir, before we go, there's something I need to tell you."

"Please do."

He took a deep breath. "I know this may sound crazy, but Snape and Draco are planning to-" Dumbledore cut him off before he could even get to the point.

"You do not have to worry about that, Harry."

"But sir, they're going to-"

"I do not wish to discuss the matter any further. We have more important business to attend. Do you wish to come with me tonight?"

"Yes." Harry said begrudgingly.

And so, before Harry could say another word about Draco's plan, Dumbledore told him what they'd be doing tonight.

When Harry made his way to the Gryffindor common room to get his Invisibility Cloak he quickly gave Ron and Hermione his Felix Felicis and told then roughly what was going on.

Maybe if the DA would be able to stop Snape and the Death Eaters.

And Draco...

Nervously he took Dumbledore's arm and they disapparated to a rock on the ocean near the entrance of a cave.

~

Snape was holding his arm painfully, the two of the making their way to the Room of Requirement, ready to welcome the Death Eaters.

Is 'welcome' the right word?

Draco felt all kinds of things at the moment, nerves stress, sadness. It didn't matter what you'd call it, all that matter was that in less than ten minutes he'd have to kill Dumbledore. 

The only thing keeping him sane was the Gryffindor sweater he was wearing, carefully hidden beneath his robes. 

They arrived at the Room of Requirement. The closet had worked. They were nine total now and Draco could feel his heart beating in his throat.

All of the sudden they were stopped by spells being fired towards them. Draco saw at least one professor and what must be another Weasley, but there were also students fighting along them. Students he knew, Granger and that weird Lovegood girl.

Spells flew around his ears and he fired some too. He would not let them stop him now, he was too close.

He ducked to avoid a hex and was pulled to the side by Snape. "Go, now! I'll cover."

And so he did. He ran up the stairs as fast as he could. 

He arrived at the Astronomy Tower and saw Dumbledore standing there. He shouted: "Expelliarmus!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos and comments if you want! Next chapter is already up!


	9. How could you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle of the Astronomy tower and what happened after...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will contain a lot of the scenes from The Battle Of The Astronomy Tower from the end of Half-Blood Prince. As you might understand I am not going to write all of that down so I'll skip over some things and address the important ones/the ones that differ a lot from what happens in the books. (Also I am not sure if all I write is accurate but literally who cares y'all are just here for gay fluff) Enjoy :)

Harry stood frozen. Hidden beneath the Invisibility Cloak and unable to move by the Body-Biding Curse.

"Draco," he heard Dumbledore say through the wooden ceiling above him. Behind it he saw Draco pointing his wand at Dumbledore, his hand trembling.

"You don't have to do this, Draco." Dumbledore said again, his voice still very calm.

"Of course I have to." He answered. "Don't you understand?"

There was nothing Harry could do but stand there and listen to Dumbledore trying to talk Draco out of it, promising him to hide him and his family from Voldemort.

If only he'd convinced Draco to run away with him.

If only he could have told Dumbledore about his plan.

He looked up through the wood, he could now look directly at Draco's face, sadness and fear in his eyes. It hurt just looking at that.

He kept hoping. Hoping that maybe Draco'd have a change of heart. Hoping for something or someone to save them.

Then, more Death Eaters entered, all of them encouraging Draco to "just kill him". 

Harry heard the pain in Draco's voice.

Eventually a dark shadow had appeared. 

"Severus... Please..." Dumbledore begged.

"Avada Kedavra" a voice said. It wasn't Draco's. It was Snape. Immediately after he had said it Harry was able to move again. 

This couldn't be true. Before he could even realize what had happened Snape was making his way down the stairs, pulling Draco behind him. He could see his pale, shocked face.

The Death Eaters followed them a few moments later. Harry hit one of them, Yaxley, he thought his name was, with a full body binding curse. 

Harry then ran down the staircase and into the corridors, with terror in his heart, as he knew he had to catch Snape and the Death Eaters escaped before he escaped. 

When he ran into the dimly lit corridor, it was full of dust and debris, as half the ceiling had fallen in, as the battle was violently raging, with several Hogwarts residents and the Order of the Phoenix duelling the Death Eaters. 

Draco and Snape however, had passed through the violence somehow unscathed, due to the Order unaware of Snape's recent actions, instead believing that he and Draco were being pursued by the Death Eaters.

Snape ordered the remaining Death Eaters to escape. Harry pursues them further down onto the grounds. 

After hitting the Impediment Jinx on the Carrows it was just him, Draco and Snape now, the rest of the Death Eaters either still duelling inside or with Hagrid.

"Draco, go. I'll handle this." Snape said. 

Harry looked at him. Draco standing between them, staring at him. He didn't move a muscle.

"Leave Potter and go!" Snape said again, this time more bothered.

Harry made his way towards Draco, their eyes locked.

Before he knew it he grabbed hold of his arm tightly and pushed his wand against Draco's chin.

"How could you?" Harry said quietly.

The sounds around them dimmed away until it was just them looking at each other. Harry's hand trembled as he was still clenching his wand.

"Do it..." Draco whispered softly, "It's okay, I deserve it..."

Harry stared at him angrily.

He hated Draco. 

He hated that he had hurt Dumbledore. He hated that he had joined the Death Eaters. He hated that he was filled with prejudices and lacked empathy and that he had treated so many people so horribly.

But most of all Harry hated how much he loved him. How much he had gotten to know him. He now knew that that wasn't the real Draco. That it was just the outcome of his parents' believes, not his own.

Draco still looked at him, his eyes scared and his jaw clenched. 

"I couldn't do it, you know..." he whispered again. "Dumbledore was right, I couldn't do it... I kept thinking..."

Before he could say anything more Draco was pulled away from him and he was blown backwards.

"Run, you fool!" Snape told Draco and so he did.

Harry saw him disappear into the night as his mind snapped back to reality. His body was now filled with rage as he attacked Snape with spell after spell, anything to avenge Dumbledore's death. The scumbag deserved it.

~

Dumbledore was dead. 

Snape was the Half-Blood prince.

Hagrid's Hut had been badly damaged by the fire.

Bill was attacked by Fenrir Greyback.

Slytherin's locket was a fake.

Draco was gone.

That was all Harry had been able to think about. He was now sitting on one of the chairs, waiting for Dumbledore's funeral to begin. 

Every now and then he'd feel someone place a hand on his shoulder or whisper "my condoleances" in his ear, not that he cared.

Ron and Hermione were sitting to his left, Hermione's hand placed on his. 

Ginny and Luna sat down on his other side. Luna was wearing a soft pink dress, unlike all the other people dressed in black. 

"I think it's what Dumbledore would have wanted." She explained when Ron gave her questioning look.

Hermione was about to say something but Harry beat her to it. "I think so too, Luna." He said with a smile.

Luna was probably the only person that could make him smile in these times, he thought. It was one of her best characteristics.

Harry caught a glimpse Pansy who was sitting down in one of the back corners. He knew she had to miss him too...

Because even after all he did, he still missed Draco. 

He was worried about what had happened to him and wondered what was to come.

~

Draco was sitting on a chair around the big black table. He could feel the cold steal through his clothes. His hands were folded on his lap and his eyes looked straight forward, fixed and the grey wall.

A cold hand gripped his shoulder.

"You disappointed me, Draco." The raspy voice said as the fingers pressed harder into him. "You disobeyed my direct orders."

Draco didn't move or say anything, he knew Voldemort wasn't waiting for an excuse.

"My Lord," Snape said from his other side, he was the only one else in the dark dungeon, "I understand your anger, but Dumbledore is dead. Draco mag not be the killer, but it couldn't have been done without him."

"Yes, yes. I am aware of that, Severus." Voldemort continued as he lifted his hand away from Draco's shoulder. "But I do believe a form of punishment should be given."

Draco took a deep breath, his shoulders still tense.

This was inevitable. He was lucky he wasn't been dead already.

"Crucio." Voldemort said as excruciating pain hit Draco.

He cramped up and whimpered. It felt like his bones were on fire.

Tears ran down his cheeks as the torture continued. He screamed until he blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Leave a comment to let me know what you thought or give it some kudos :) Next chapter will be up Friday!


	10. Draco?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is like a compilation of what happens in the Deathly Hallows (between Harry and Draco obviously). Enjoy xxx

Harry was leaning back in his chair, watching the people dance on the dancefloor. Bill and Fleur were laughing with Molly and Arthur and Ginny was dancing with Hermione.

There were many more people at the wedding, but his eyes fell to a couple in the back. He didn't recognise them. 

It were two men, one with black hair, one with blond hair. 

They were dancing and smiling at each other. Kissing each other or brushing their noses together every now and then.

"You okay, Harry?" Ron asked.

"Yeah," he said, snapping back to reality, "Hey, eh, who are those men over there?" He nodded his head to the couple.

Ron turned his head towards them. "Honestly, mom has invited so many people, I don't even know half of them. I think that the one with the black hair is my third cousin twice removed? The other one is his husband."

"...and everyone is okay with that?" Harry asked carefully. 

"Okay with what? The fact that they're both blokes?"

Harry nodded. 

"Yes, of course. I mean, some of the elderly family members are close minded, but I don't think there's ever been actual trouble or something."

Harry wondered how people would react if he told them about him liking guys. Not the general public, but his friends and family.

"Why?" Ron asked.

"Oh. Just curious." 

~

"Harry..." Hermione said softly, the snow blurring her voice.

He walked to her, the voices singing Christmas songs in the church in the background.

He looked at the grave Hermione was standing at. 

"In loving memory of James Potter - Lily Potter" it read.

Hermione hooked her arm in his and laid her head on his shoulder.

Harry stared at the grave, reminiscing all the knew of his parents.

He wondered what they would have thought of him. If he had been a different person if they had raised him. How would not being the chosen one have affected him?

Would he still have been friends with Hermione? And Ron? Would he have been a better person? Or would he have been worse? Would he have met Remus sooner? Would Sirius still be alive?

Would he still have fallen for Draco?

He probably would. Maybe their relationship would have been less... complicated.

He wondered if his parents would have approved of him. His sexuality. 

He really hoped they would.

~

Draco was waiting anxiously. The Death Eaters had just gotten word of some group of "rebels". 

His house no longer felt like home. He had taken over the most part. Every room now contained terrible memories. 

Torture, death, the most horrible people he bas ever met, and now the Lovegood girl was locked in his basement.

He felt bad for her, he really did. He just didn't know what to do about it. He didn't know a lot of things. 

The past months he had been feeling himself getting more and more lost. He had gotten good at separating himself from what was going on, just doing as he was told while his mind wandered off. 

Before he had tried to tell himself he still was a good person. He wasn't so sure about that anymore.

Not only had he seen more pain these months than in his entire life, he had also caused more pain. Meanwhile he had become numb to it.

The door opened and people pushed their way in. 

"Draco," they said hushed, "is this him? We think it's him! You're the only one who knows for sure. We need to be certain." 

The Death Eaters and some followers, he didn't really care who they were, were holding three people. He could clearly recognise Weasley and Granger. 

But then there was the third. 

The man holding him pushed him towards Draco and he got a closer look.

It was Harry. Undoubtedly. 

His face may have been disfigured but he had spent enough hours looking at him, letting his fingers trace his eyes, his hair, his mouth, to know it was him.

Harry looked at him, hurt in his eyes. Hope, fear. His lips moved, almost unnoticeably, "Draco" he mouthed. 

Merlin, he loved him. He missed him. He wished he had made another choice. He wished he could kiss him. He wished he could take his hand and run away right now. 

But wishing wouldn't get him anywhere.

"I can't be sure." He said.

The Death Eaters groaned disappointedly and made their ways to the dungeon, only leaving Hermione behind.

He never really liked her, but he knew she didn't deserve whatever Bellatrix was going to do to her.

He just hoped Harry would find a way for them to escape, maybe then things would be okay.

Maybe.

~

Fire, everywhere. Pure chaos. He didn't know what to do.

Harry, Ron and Hermione were running away from Crabbe, who had gone crazy. He had conjured Fiendfyre and it had quickly spread throughout the room, the stacks of hidden things already starting to fall over. 

Luckily, they found the brooms.

Hastly flying over the fire that had now taken over almost all of the room, Harry yelled: "We can't leave them!" 

"Are you bloody serious, mate?" Ron yelled back.

He looked back and saw the Draco climbing up a stack of chair and falling dangerously. He wouldn't get out of this alive. 

"Yes! Come on!" 

"Fine!" Hermione begrudgingly said.

They made a sharp turn and flew to the blokes. 

They only counted two, though.

Harry quickly got Draco and pulled him up on his broom, just in time as the fire had taken over everything now. The only safe place was up in the air, but it wouldn't be for much longer. 

Draco tightly wrapped his arms around Harry's waist.

Harry tried to breath normally and fly to the exit, but he kept thinking about those hands holding him. Draco's smell. His nose touching his neck.

The fire roared around him, nearly killing him. Draco held him stronger.

He flew through the door, followed by Ron and Hermione with Goyle. 

They fell to the ground, the fire still chasing them.

Goyle ran away and Draco got up. He looked at Harry.

"Draco?" 

He could join them now, Harry thought. He could just say 'I'm sorry I'm such a dick, I want to help you defeat him.' And everything would be alright.

But he didn't. He said nothing and ran away.

~

His eyes went black again. Harry was laying on the cold ground, his hands were touching the wet leaves of the ground of the Forbidden Forest.

He heard footsteps coming towards him, his eyes were still closed.

The figure kneeled behind him and laid her hand on his shoulder.

"Is he alive?" The soft but stern voice whispered. "Draco, is he alive?"

His mother, Narcissa, was the one asking him. 

She was the one who would decide what would happen to him. She could lie to Voldemort or tell the truth.

Harry nodded ever so slightly. Only she could see it.

Narcissa stood up and turned towards Voldemort en his followers.

"Dead." She announced. It was followed by a lot of celebration.

And so, Voldemort made his way back to the castle and told the army at Hogwarts:

"Harry Potter... is dead."

Draco blacked out after that.

He didn't even know what had happened. All he knew was that the seconds that followed felt like hours. 

This couldn't be true. It couldn't be.

But it was. 

The boy he loved, the only boy he'd ever loved was gone.

There would be no way they'd win the war now. He'd have to stay with the Death Eaters forever. He'd become one, if he hadn't already. He wasn't even sure.

He didn't even got to say goodbye. 

Or apologise.

Nothing. 

Harry was gone. Just like that. And with him all hope Draco had left. 

"Draco" His father said across the courtyard. 

"Draco, come." His mom said.

Everyone was looking at him.

He made his way to them, Voldemort smiled at him.

He wasn't fully realizing what he was doing. He hadn't been for a very, very long time.

He barely listened to what Longbottom had to say, he was only looking at Harry who was laying in Hagrid's arm.

He hoped and he hoped and hoped that maybe... just maybe...

The audience gasped as Harry got up. 

Draco couldn't possibly hide the smile on his face even if he wanted to. Not that he did.

They locked eyes if only for less than a second. But it was enough. 

Enough to give him the confidence to finally stand up to Voldemort and throw Harry his wand some moments later in the battle.

The wand with which he'd defeat Voldemort with.

~

The next time they saw each other was two weeks later at the Malfoy trials.

Harry defended Draco and Narcissa, they only got a very light punishment.

He didn't defend Lucius, though. He got a life sentence.

Harry didn't feel bad for him. For Draco and his mother, yes. But not for him.

He was about to go back to Grimmauld Place where he was staying for a while when someone tapped his shoulder.

He didn't even know who to expect. An insane amount of people had talked to him the days after the Battle. That's why he only went out when he had to. 

He turned around. He was looking at Narcissa Malfoy, Draco standing behind him shyly.

"Oh. Hello." He said.

She didn't say anything. She just hugged him tightly but lovingly.

"Thank you." She whispered in his ear, still hugging him. "Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hoped you liked it! If so, give some kudos and leave a comment. Also, sadly, next chapter will be the last chapter :(((


	11. Of course.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the very last chapter! I can't believe it! Thank you all so so much for sticking with me and supporting me! Now let's wrap this up! Enjoy!

~

Narcissa let go of him and took a step back.

"Of course, Ms Malfoy." Harry said, a bit surprised. 

He looked at Draco, still standing behind his mother.

He was wearing his black suit and his hair was slicked back neatly. He was smiling at Harry shyly.

Narcissa looked at her son, then back at Harry.

"Draco, sweetheart, I have a friend here with whom I have to talk. I'll see you at home, alright?" She kissed his cheek and left before he could protest.

Harry was still standing still, looking at Draco. He was looking back at him, people were walking past them, going on with their day. But they didn't notice. It was just them.

"I know I there are some things that have to be said..." Draco broke the silence. His voice was sweet and vulnerable. "...about us, I mean."

Harry nodded slowly.

"And I would like to say them..." he continued, "But I don't think this is the right place for that."

Harry nodded again. He could see the hurt in Draco's eyes.

"Maybe we could meet somewhere? If you'd let me, of course?"

Harry swallowed, "Yes. I would like that."

Draco's eyes lightened up and a small smile of relieve appeared on his face. "Thank you. Ehm, I thought, we could go to the Three Broo-"

"Actually," Harry interrupted him, "I know a place. If that's okay?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Great, let me give you the address." He got out a ballpoint, he had taken a liking to muggle items recently, from an inside pocket of his dinner jacket, the only formal wear he was able to find for the trial, and took Draco's right wrist in his hand.

Draco was surprised by the sudden touch as Harry pushed up his sleeve as far as he could. He stood there, his arm stretched out, Harry writing on his arm, his strong hand still holding his wrist. They were closer than they'd been in a long time.

"I'll meet you there, say, eight?" Harry said as he took a step back. 

Draco smiled. "Yes. Absolutely."

~

He looked at the clock. Seven forty. He was anxious.

Draco opened his closet for the millionth time that night. Was he wearing the right outfit?

He didn't want to appear too formal, but not too casual either. He wasn't sure what kind of conversation he was gonna have tonight.

He pulled off the white shirt he was wearing and threw it on his bed.

He stared at himself in the mirror.

He was wearing black dress pants, his torso uncovered.

His right arm still had the address on it, written in Harry's sloppy handwriting. 

His left arm had the Dark Mark on him. He hadn't yet found a way to erase or even cover it. He didn't know if he'd ever would. He hoped so.

He really hoped so.

He looked through his closet again. His eyes fell on the sweater on his right. Harry's sweater, to be exact.

He stroked the color gently. Would Harry still have his? How would he have reacted when he noticed it? 

He shook his head, grabbed a dark green shirt and got on his way.

~

Harry had send him to a neighbourhood of London Draco had never visited before. 

After apparating in an alley, he walked a few minutes and arrived at a pub. 

It was low light but still very cosy. Some people were sitting at the bar and a few were dancing on the music that was playing in the background. He could clearly tell it was a muggle bar, which he liked, it was more private, but there was something different about it.

He saw Harry sitting at a booth in the back, Draco made his way to him and sat down.

"Hi... How are you?" Harry said with a small smile.

"I'm... Good. I think." He hadn't really thought about how he had been doing lately. "You know, things have been difficult. But I'm holding up. How are you?"

"Great, actually. You know, given circumstances. In fact I... came out."

"Wait, really? That's amazing."

Harry smiled timidly. "Yeah. It was hard. I didn't want to take any attention away from the war and the victims or something you know. And so far I've only told Hermione, Ron and his family so I'm not out-out yet. But it's a start."

Draco smiled proudly at him. He didn't know how Harry got the courage, but he was happy for him. He himself didn't even know when or how or if he'd ever come out.

"It's sort of why I chose this place." Harry continued. "It's a gay bar."

It took some time for Draco to realise what he meant. 

"Do we have that in the wizarding world?" He half whispered.

"No, I don't think so. I stumbled into this place on accident. I couldn't sleep one night so I just started walking around. I randomly entered a bar and I decided to stay. It feels nice..."

"It does." Draco agreed, "Because you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not."

"Exactly."

They looked at each other, smiling softly.

"Hey there, what can I get the two of you?" A waiter had come up to there table.

Draco let Harry pick something, gin and tonic, as he didn't know any muggle drinks.

They sipped their drinks quietly until Draco broke the silence with something he had been working up the courage for all night.

"I am really sorry for what I did."

"...I know."

"And what I did was not only very stupid but also very harmful. I was dealing with so many emotions at the time that I couldn't think clear anymore and it caused me to-"

"I know, Draco. You already said all of this at the hearing this morning." Harry interrupted him.

"...right." He sighed. He was fidgeting with his hands. This was not going the way he wanted it to.

"You've done some messed up things, I know that. But the court has already said you weren't guilty." Harry looked at him sternly. It hurt. "So if they've forgiven you, so will I."

Draco smiled, tears were forming in his eyes and sighed. "Thank you."

"But you still hurt me. And that's not gonna change over one drink."

Draco took a deep breath. He looked at Harry. His was looking down at his drink, he looked bad. 

Draco reached across the table and took his hand. Harry didn't respond.

"I am so sorry for hurting you. I shouldn't have lied to you... or hidden things from you."

Harry clenched up. 

"I am very sorry. I was overwhelmed with all these feelings and I didn't know what to do with them. But I really want to make it up to you. If you let me."

He squeezed Harry's hand softly, he was still staring at his drink. A tear was running down his cheek. 

"Harry..." Draco whispered, his voice cracking.

Harry looked up at him and smiled sadly. 

"Of course." Harry said softly. 

Draco sighed relieved. "Really?"

He nodded and laced their fingers together.

Harry leaned forward and pressed their lips together. Draco leaned in. He had missed Harry so much. Missed this so much.

And now there was nothing holding them back anymore. He could kiss him whenever he wanted to.

Harry pulled away, his hand lingered on Draco's cheek.

"I love you so much." He whispered.

"I love you too." Draco smiled and wiped away a tear from his cheek. Harry grinned and kissed him again.

"I think we'll make it work. Don't you agree?" Harry asked.

"I know we will."

Harry sipped his drink and bit his lip.

"What is it?" Draco asked.

Harry smiled. "Do you wanna go to my house?"

"Why, do you have surprise planned?" He said with a wink.

"Oh shut your mouth." He laughed back. "I'm serious. Do you have plans or...?"

"No, I'm free. I'd love to come with you. Where do you live?"

"Currently in Islington, in my godfather's house."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Your godfather? I thought your whole family was... dead?"

"Yeah, well, he is. He died two years ago. You know him, actually. He's Sirius Black."

Draco's eyes widened. "Siris Black is your godfather?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah, you have some catching up to do."

"Wait, does than mean that you own the Black house now?"

"Yes, it's a pretty nice place actually. You know, besides the whole pure-blood supremacist history."

Draco tensed up a bit. "They keep the House of Black family tree there, right?"

"An entire room is filled with it, yes." He paused. "You're on it too."

He clenched his jaw. "It's a horrible family, isn't it? When Sirius went to Azkaban I thought maybe my mom would visit sometime but she never did. I didn't even know it was still being used."

"It was a hide out for the Order of the Phoenix for a while," Harry explained, "Dumbledore was the secret keeper so no one unauthorised could get in. But now he's dead which means..."

"You're one of the secret keepers now." Draco complemented. "And you would trust me with that kind of crucial information?"

"I would trust you with anything."

Draco blushed at that.

"Besides," Harry added, "it isn't really that important. Voldemort is gone and all the Death Eaters are either dead or in Azkaban."

He grinned and said: "Or sitting across from you in a gay muggle pub."

Harry laughed at that. "I think I like that option the best."

And so they finished their drinks and made their way to a dark ally, kissing each other again, their warm bodies pressed against one another in the cold of the night, before disapparating to Grimmauld Place 12. 

And they never had to hide again. 

Or live in fear. 

Or in the darkness.

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it's already over! This was the very last chapter! Vote on this chapter if you liked it and leave a comment about what you thought of it. If you have any idea for a new fic in mind, let me know! I'm currently not working on anything so I am not sure when I will start a new story. Thank you all so much for reading this fic! <3

**Author's Note:**

> I’ll (try to) update every Friday!


End file.
